Mountaineers

Mountaineers
Originally uploaded by Canon Fodder.

Well success at last, we conquered a mountain. Sometime around two o’clock on August the twenty fifth Katie, Jacob and I reached the summit of Helvellyn. It was very, very cold indeed.

After the previous debacle of chaos from the start, the day had started well. Jacob had risen early to prepare sandwiches, though oddly he was still asking if we had to go. I had nipped around Sainsburys to buy chocolate and energy drinks, before getting home to throw the family in the car. Since last time Badger had both been sick and had dumped in the back of the car I took him on a brief walk down to the local green so he could do the necessary.

The car journey itself was reasonably uneventful. We did partake in the obligatory traffic jam on the M6. Though ours was much smaller than the southbound guys had to endure. The police had closed junction thirty three, blaming an invisible accident, and the tail back on the south bound side went on for miles.

After initially missing the entrance to the car park we finally parked up and selected our kit for the accent. Katie sensibly decided to take her coat and a woolly hat and mittens. Jacob, who feels the heat and is nearly terminally lazy, could not bear to lug anything up the mountain he did not have to. At the foot of the mountain it was warm so he elected to wear a tee shirt and a sleeveless hoodie. Naturally as the responsible adult, and the only one amongst us who had been to the top of a mountain before, I was none too impressed with this. However, cowed by the knowledge of just how much Jake would bitch and moan if made to wear more, I elected to rely on my secret weapons packed in with the food.

We set off and the kids were immediately impressed with the scenery. The path followed a white water stream, which the children found enchanting, and Jake was all for taking lots of pictures. Once we had bridged the stream for the last time we came to a stile and gate. The other side looked like sheep territory, but none were visible. So I decided to leave Badger off his leash until I saw a reason to put him on it, asking the kids to keep a look out too. This was a mistake. Ten minutes up the side of the mountain Badger startles a sheep out of some bracken and the chase is on. In that moment Badger discovered his reason for being. He is fifty percent German Shepherd Dog, fifty percent Welsh Border Collie. Which makes him one hundred percent sheep dog. He soon had a small flock pinned against a dry stone wall; at the bottom of the mountain. As shouting, “Come by boy” was not working I had to descend to where Badger was guarding his flock. Put him on a leash and start the climb again.

The path up the mountain is well travelled and those in charge have protected the area from erosion by paving it with large rocks. This removed the task of forging a new route and left us to concentrate on just how much hard work is involved in climbing up this bloody big hill. We were all soon sweating and breathing hard, and many rests were taken. But the views improved and we kept at it. The children were mightily impressed when a fighter jet, practicing low level flying, screamed through the valley below us.

Soon the altitude started to cool the air and a stiff and steady breeze started up. Jake started wishing he had brought a coat, and the hoodie he had been carrying was put back on. It soon got colder though and Jake started complaining in earnest. Time to bring out the secret weapon; a bin bag. I had Jacob take off his hoodie and with holes in appropriate places put the sack over him and his tee shirt. Once modelling the latest in PVC fashion Jake put his hoodie back on over it and declared it was a vast improvement. Shortly after this, Jake now feeling warmer again and being a perfect product of the Playstation generation, he realised just how exhausted he was, time for secret weapon number two. A can of Red Bull. Such is the power of suggestion that before his body could have even thought about digesting the drink Jake was running up the Mountain.

Eventually we made the summits. There is a chain of peaks, Hevellyn being the largest, joined by a broad ridge on which the walking was much easier than the previous climb. The wind was bitterly cold and it was now only determination not to give up that saw us press on to the tallest peak. Fellow hill walkers stared incredulously in their goretex jackets and hiking pants at the clearly insane family in jeans and tee shirts, trailing the pet dog. One offered us clothing, which we politely declined, though I was aware that if we didn’t get down soon we were soon going to be in trouble. Stones were placed on cairns. Pictures were taken, and backs were patted. Jake gave in at this point and admitted he was still really cold. So Katie gave him her jacket! So we started our decent with Jake wearing a tee shirt, a bin bag, a fleece hoodie and his sister’s jacket complaining he was cold. While Katie pranced about the mountain top in only a tee shirt on which was printed a house brick and the word ‘subtle.’

We made our way down as speedily as was safe. We quickly warmed up but now we had a new need to press on; over on the other side of the valley rain was coming. Jake the poor mite was done in and so I hung back with him, but Katie still quite hyper was all for running down after seeing a couple start bouncing down the path. Initially I refused, but once we caught up the couple having a picnic half way down, I relented and allowed her to accompany them. Apparently she beat them to the bottom!

We all beat the rain and were heartily exhausted. I had earned two new blisters on my toes, and we were all wind burnt. But I think we’ve got the bug. Though not again until we have the proper clothes.